The Ask Sharon column as it appeared in The Area News on Friday 6 November, 2015.
Following is the full version of the column featured in The Area News complete with the “Personal Power” card from Marianne Williamson’s Miracles cards.
THIS week Jeanette asks:
“I want to help people but then I overcommit myself and feel overwhelmed. How do I make it better?”
Your topic begs the question, “Is all help good help?” In order to take our responsibilities seriously but not to the point of burnout, it’s important to know your physical limits – we all have them.
Reading my son’s school newsletter recently, I came across the section on virtues. Responsibility was being featured. It was about being dependable, keeping agreements and giving your best. If after you’ve committed to helping you feel pressure and overextended, then regardless of your best intentions, you cannot possibly give your best. And as you’re discovering this is also not good for you. The thing about being overcommitted is it not only affects your performance but it affects your health, moods and you can forget any level of inner peace.
Tips on how to help without hitting the wall:
- Make discernment your new best friend. Selecting activities that are congruent with you and your lifestyle are paramount.
- Before you take a new task to task, pause before you reply. There is no harm in saying, “I’ll think it over” before you commit.
- Redefine the to-do list and release the pressure valve by keeping it lighthearted. Meeting responsibilities might be serious business but your attitude toward them doesn’t have to be.
Marianne Williamson’s “Personal Power” card comes as a reminder that, “Achievement doesn’t come from what we do, but from who we are. Our worldly power results from our personal power.”
The “Personal Power” card is copyright to Marianne Williamson, 2002.
While writing this, my five-year-old son handed me a book from our shelf titled, Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much. He did not know I was in the process of seeking a quote for my next column…not to mention he’s still learning to read!
While this little book is full of wisdom and advice, I couldn’t go past the Introduction to emphasise my point. Thanks to my son’s intuition I felt it was as much for me, as it is for you. “There are many of us who do too much, keep too busy, spend all our time taking care of others and, in general, do not take care of ourselves. This is a book for women workaholics, busyaholics, rushaholics, and careaholics.”
Obviously it’s in your nature to want to help, which is a wonderful trait, but you will be better placed to meet (and greet) your responsibilities if you can prioritise and set boundaries.
Have we forgotten that we have a responsibility to ourselves to feel good? Now that’s something that could go straight to the top of the list.
Send your questions for Sharon to editor@areanews.com.au
Don’t want to ask a question by email? Simply complete the contact form on this blog. Use the message box for your question and it will come directly to me. Only first names will be used unless you complete the form as Anonymous. Ask away…you may be pleasantly surprised by what the cards reveal.
Today’s card has been drawn from Marianne Williamson’s Miracle Cards. Image and card is copyright to Marianne Williamson, 2002.
Today’s quote comes from the book Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much and is copyright to Anne Wilson Schaef, 2004.
You might also be interested in…
My column on handling your to-do list and the juggling act that is parenthood (part 1 and part 2 about letting go).
A little extra information…
The “Personal Power” card featured below gives a good perspective on doing versus being.
The “Personal Power” card is copyright to Marianne Williamson, 2002.
