Ask Sharon: Let it go

Following is a copy of the full version of the column featured in The Area News complete with the “Let It Go” card from Doreen Virtue’s Ascended Masters Oracle Cards.

LAST week Maria asked:

“I work a lot then when I’m at home I’m busy doing all the other stuff that has to get done. I worry that my kids are missing out?”

For part two of this mammoth question, I shuffled the cards from a different deck to last week, and amazingly received the same Ascended Master Quan Yin! Except instead of “Compassion”, the card was “Let It Go”, which again helps guide the advice on this important issue for parents and particularly mums.

I was discussing this subject with another mother recently and my feeling was that our kids are not likely to reminisce and say, “I wish mum had cleaned the floor more” but they might say, “I wish she’d got down on the floor and played with me more!”

This is not about compounding any feelings of guilt, but rather to give you a sense of perspective about the ‘other stuff’. I’ve resigned to the fact that while my kids are young, these will not be the years I can claim the cleanest house. I do the bare minimum…the supermum in me died long ago!

So today’s column is about making peace with where you are in your life and seeing where you can release the unimportant to make room for the things that matter.

Tips on how to loosen the reins and let go:

• Let go of the common misperception that you are meant to feel guilty when you are not with your children. It’s ok to enjoy your work and time-out.
• Let go of your own pre-children standards and expectations, they no longer apply and will only be the source of undue stress and frustration.
• Let go of the housework and anything that can wait until another day.

There’s a poster which sums that last point up the best, “Good mums have sticky floors, messy kitchens, laundry piles, dirty ovens and happy kids.” And just in case I still haven’t hit home, I went back to Ita Buttrose’s Motherguilt. She writes, “Sometimes in their haste to get through all of the things they have to do, working mothers forget some of the most important things in life – like living, for instance. Society not only puts a lot of pressure on working mums, but women put unrealistic pressures on themselves as well. Mothers do not have to be perfect, good enough will do.”

My new philosophy in achieving something that resembles a work/life balance goes beyond domesticity. I’ve stopped being so quick to clip my own wings when it comes to the parenting department. Instead I now recognise, like all well-meaning parents, that what we are aiming to do is give children their own wings so they can fly.

Send your questions for Sharon to editor@areanews.com.au

Don’t want to ask a question by email? Simply complete the contact form on this blog. Use the message box for your question and it will come directly to me. Only first names will be used unless you complete the form as Anonymous. Ask away…you may be pleasantly surprised by what the cards reveal.

Today’s card has been drawn from the Ascended Masters Oracle Cards. Image and card as well as the guidebook material quoted below is copyright to Doreen Virtue, 2007.

A little extra information…

For additional insight and meaning into today’s “let it go” card refer to the material below from the guidebook.

Message from Quan Yin: It’s time to stop struggling, pushing, or forcing things to happen. Such actions push against the universal flow and lead to frustrations and blocks. When you let the situation go to Spirit, you automatically open supportive doors that will bring solutions and an outcome exceeding your expectations. Let go of struggle, anger, unforgiveness, or anything else undesirable. Trust that the Universe is on your side.

Additional Meanings for This Card:

• Let go of an argument, judgments, or a long-term hurt
• Have compassion for everyone involved in this situation, including yourself
• Be gentle with yourself
• Forgive yourself for what you think you’ve done or not done

Quan Yin (also spelt Kuan Yin) is the beloved Buddhist goddess of compassion whose name means “she who hears all prayers.” At her mortal death, Quan Yin was eligible for Buddhahood, yet she decided to stay close to Earth and help all humans until everyone became enlightened. You can call upon Quan Yin for help with forgiveness and compassion and to have your needs met in gentle and loving ways.